September 8, 2008


Filed under: Belles lettres — theinkhorn @ 10:09 pm

“Aspergillosis, histoplasmosis, candidiasis, blastomycosis, coccidioidomycosis, tinea pedis and cryptococcosis. There are only seven known fungal infectious diseases to date. Maybe you can go somewhere and bring us the eighth, Mr Taylor,”

The young intern looks like he’s ready to start bawling his eyes out but i can hardly care because i am feeling so good about myself and the arrogance in my voice gives me a hard-on that i have to try and hide beneath the long white coat.

“I’m sorry sir. I forgot…”

“Its okay son. We all make mistakes. I’m sure your parents would agree to that if they were here to experience the abomination that is your ability to answer simple questions,” I fix my eyes upon his and imagine i’m actually piercing him with my stare.

He bows his head slightly, staring down at his horrible-looking loafers which probably costed him half his pay check. He fails miserably in trying to hide his tears; one already rolling down his cheek. He scrambles to wipe it off and i think i feel something like a tinge of guilt or pity but then it dissipates as soon as i realise how good his navy blue scrubs would look on me.

Turning my attention towards the rest of the interns, who are now so quiet you could mouth the word “rabies” and still hear it, I make up my mind to spend the remaining 5 minutes of rounds berating them just so i can feel better about myself but then my beeper goes off and its a code. I drop my charts and walk off briskly but not before giving the interns my patented “I’m going to kill all of you” look. Its amusing to know that they all think its just a joke.

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