ambiguity

March 30, 2009

always off.

Filed under: Uncategorized — theinkhorn @ 2:05 am

Saturday evening, I’m 4 hours into my shift at the public house. We’re participating in Earth hour, so our lights are switched off and the place is lit by a dizzying array of candles placed in strategic positions around the bar and on the tables. The place looks beautiful, but the temperature is slowly rising due to the heat from the flames. Plus its too dark to not bump into chairs and stuff.

“30% of the population are getting involved with this. Its quite a big thing.”

The manager is talking to one of our regulars. I let out a big snort.

“So what if 30% of the population is doing this. Is this really going to help? Switching off our lights for 60 minutes may mean we’re not consuming energy, but it does not mean that the nuclear plants are not still manufacturing it. Essentially, we’re delaying our consumption.”

A British patron who’s been clearing out our stock of kilkenny since 5 puts down his drink and turns to me.

“So what you’re saying is people shouldn’t do it? That they should just ignore the calls from the world to save our planet?”

“I’m saying it wouldn’t help. Sure we could just reach out and flick the switch, and feel like we’re part of a big plan to save the world. But the reality is its not going to help because the next day, people are going back to leaving the lights on all night. If you need to feel important, feel good about yourself, if you need to persuade yourself that at least you’re doing something for Earth, then by all means, turn your lights off. But you must accept that nothing is going to change.”

“Would you do it? If you were at home, would you do it?”

“My lights are always off.”

March 3, 2009

The Wedding.

Filed under: Uncategorized — theinkhorn @ 2:27 am

Observing people gets more interesting when you’re at a wedding reception. If you look close enough, you can see the single ladies’ uteri glowing as they beginning dreaming of their very own big white wedding. Then, if you sniff hard enough, you just might be able to detect the stench of fear. That would belong to the men, who obviously aren’t ready but sense that their girlfriends might be.

Watching my cousin get hitched was surprisingly tough. Out of all my 6 cousins, she’s my favourite one. Being the oldest among the seven, the age gap often meant a difference in opinion and interest, even as kids. Thankfully, she’s only a year younger than me. Today, the bond between the 7 of us hangs on a single thread. But the bond i have with her is one that will never thin out.

My parents have told me stories of how the two of us used to hold hands wherever we went; walks with the maid, playground, even to art class. We were inseparable. There were even fears of incest as we got older. Some family i’ve got. We’ve spent more than a decade of our lives by each other’s sides and she’s the sister i never had.

Of course, it was inevitable for the relatives present to comment and pose predictable questions. Questions like ‘When’s your turn?’ and comments like ‘She’s a year younger and she’s married already. You have to try harder!’ Fortunately, a smile and a nod sufficed on this occasion.

The wedding reception wasn’t too bad. It was funny to step into the ballroom and hear “I Could Sing of Your Love Forever” playing in the background because the family’s buddhist, and were rather upset when i started going to church years ago. It was even funnier to hear “Beauty and The Beast” playing while my cousin and her husband were walking down the aisle of the room. The 9 course meal, while delicious, was served in minuscule portions.

I don’t know much about the guy she married. I haven’t had enough time to analyse him. But i’ve seen my cousin with him, and it seems like they make each other happy. While i may disagree with the concept of marriage, and even more so with anyone getting married at the age of 20 without a kid on the way, i am certain they will have a healthy marriage. For the first ten years at least.

I feel like i’ve given my sister away today. We hardly spoke at all , but before i left she gave me a look which said everything she needed and wanted to. I gave her a huge hug, kissed her goodbye and left with a surprisingly heavy heart. My baby sister’s all grown up.

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