November 19, 2009

Three Important Life Lessons

Filed under: Uncategorized — theinkhorn @ 9:09 pm

The time is 1845. I’m waiting for the train at Jurong East. It is the first time since starting work that I have left the office on time. After an excruciating wait, the train arrives, but is packed within seconds. I squirm my way in and when i finally feel comfortable, i lift my head, only to find myself staring back down again. Right before my eyes stood one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen. That may be a minor exaggeration.

Anyone who knows me well enough knows i have a thing for Indian women. And alot of other things for other types of women but thats another story for another day. I scan her from top to toe. Nose stud, Indian eyes and eyebrows, dyed, slightly frizzy hair, pale, North-Indian-ish skin tone. Very nice. I also notice that what she’s wearing complements her identity. Olive green jeans, thongs with one lone bling, and some kind of top i can’t seem to recall. She’s not model beautiful, but she is beautiful.

She catches me staring and raises an eyebrow, before tilting her head, as if trying to figure out where she’s seen me before. I do the same, tilting my head first, then squinting at her(that is the general look people have on their faces when they’re trying to remember someone). Then i shake my head to tell her that we’ve never met, before smiling. She seems to get it, and smiles back. Right on cue, my Ipod starts playing “Don’t Panic” by Coldplay. I open my pouch, turn off the shuffle function and prepare to move towards her when out of nowhere, the elderly lady(in her 50s probably) standing in front of her begins to speak to her. I can’t hear their conversation, but it looks like she’s trying to get out of it while being as polite as possible.

My brain begins yelling out commands, military style. “Close in via the East, take caution. Arm your weapon, enemy may not go down easy.” I’m ready and just about to lift my foot when i feel all the weight on my right hand vanish in an instant. I stop, close my eyes in despair, open them again and look down, and sure enough, lying on the ground are my cards, my money and my phone. And as if it wasn’t already funny enough, the train had reached the next station and people were beginning to alight.

I squat down and begin picking up my stuff as fast as i can, while avoiding the hundreds of pairs of feet around me, threatening to trample on my fingers. Finally, i gather up everything and stand back up. I scramble to fit everything back into my pouch and eventually i do, but when i look up in her direction, her back’s facing me. She’s getting ready to alight and Mrs Talk-Alot is still conversing with her. As the doors begin to open, I feel an immense sense of dejection. Then she turns her head to look at me, and just before she steps out of the train, she gives me an apologetic smile and rolls her eyes at Mrs Talk-Alot. I nod and mouth the words “See You.” She nods and walks out the door.

Lesson number 1: ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, remember to zip up the porter.

Lesson number 2: NEVER, EVER, EVER allow an elderly woman to cock-block you ever again.

Lesson number 3: Leave the office on time. ALWAYS leave the office on time.



  1. “And alot of other things for other…”

    FYI, since you love writing, ‘a lot’ are 2 separate words.

    you’re welcome.

    Comment by angel — November 22, 2009 @ 2:13 pm

  2. oh no. i should click the spellcheck icon more often, like you do. “I put… *spellcheck*, eggs… *spellcheck*, in the… *spellcheck*, micro… mecro? mycro? *spellcheck*, microwave.”

    Comment by theinkhorn — November 22, 2009 @ 2:25 pm

  3. well done!

    Comment by angel — November 22, 2009 @ 8:55 pm

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