January 15, 2010

Of Fighting Wars

Filed under: Uncategorized — theinkhorn @ 10:46 am

Today’s funniest story: KL has denied backing muslim protests. Apparently, the Malaysian government never endorsed the protests. I wonder then, what’s this all about? It’s especially funny if you open both articles in one browser but on separate tabs, and just switch between them, maintaining focus on the title. Talk about contradiction.

The “Allah” debacle does not seem to be slowing down. A tenth religious building has been vandalised, this time with red paint. Nice touch. The classic “Old School Ah Long” style. May I suggest a pig’s head next? No wait that would be insensitive to their religious beliefs. Maybe they could use a cow’s head again.

In local news, a 21-year-old Sri Lankan national has been found guilty of killing a pregnant prostitute. Before I go on…

There’s no way he’s 21. Anyway, Madhuri Jaya Chandra Reddy received a 17 year jail term and 12 strokes of the cane. Do the math. One man murders a prostitute and her foetus and receives 17 years in jail while a young drug trafficker carrying 43 g of heroin is sentenced to death? 2 confirmed deaths as opposed to what can only be described as “potential harm”? It’s the Collatz Conjecture all over again.

Tensions between Iran and the United States are at an all time high after an Iranian nuclear scientist was killed in a bombing outside his home. Mr Ahmadinejad has, of course, taken the opportunity to stoke the flames by claiming the method of killing to be “Zionist”. Isn’t that a little too obvious, Ahmad? That’s like the Chinese saying “This dog tastes bad! It must’ve been stewed by those Google bastards!”

And finally, our favourite former pageant queen has settled for endorsing condoms. Ris Low claims to be convinced that youths should abstain from sex. Since it is an almost impossible task, she has decided to promote safe sex. I have just one request. Ris, please do NOT put your face on the box. I don’t want your intense glare to melt my ice caps,  if you know what i mean. Then again I don’t think I’ll ever consider using Espire Condoms. What if they… Expire?

Zander Asia, distributors of Espire condoms, claim to have approached Ris because they believe she can reach out to youths. Well that part’s true i guess. Birds of a feather flock together no? So hurry on up before they boomz all over each other.



  1. Ris Low, really, really gets on my nerves, i wonder why media today has stooped to glorifying the infintely stupid and talentless. I see her almost daily on newspages, endorsing one thing or another.

    Brilliant writing, as usual.


    Comment by Georgia — January 16, 2010 @ 5:02 pm

  2. Because the media, like Ris, are infinitely stupid and talentless, thus enabling them to form and enjoy a very special sort of relationship. Like a great big family of imbeciles.

    Thanks Georgia.

    Comment by theinkhorn — January 16, 2010 @ 5:29 pm

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