ambiguity

April 15, 2010

Heavy Heart Says There Must Be Change

Filed under: Uncategorized — theinkhorn @ 10:25 am

As we began our descend and the temperature crept the other way, a revelation struck, hard. I was home, but not really. How could I be home? How could I bear, how could I live with myself, how could I have the nerve to call this place home? How could I watch as those around me continue to applaud the evident insanity? How on earth could I contemplate the notion of being contented, when quite clearly we’ve never been close to that prospect? How could I sit and take it all in, and not give them a comparison point? How could I just let them be one of the many frogs in the well?

No. This will not do. We are a nation void of identity. We are a nation with nothing to offer but exotic looking, easy women, unbelievable food and false GDP numbers. We ignore cries for assistance, we dismiss wails of injustice. We enjoy the finer things in life, without keeping in mind that the finest things don’t usually cost anything. We give up on educating ourselves for pleasure and instead, tell ourselves that every move we make will just be another stepping stone to greater glory. We cheer at being intoxicated, yet we never actually enjoy tasting what we pour down our throats. We embrace those in power without knowing why exactly. We are mercenaries, heading where fortune lies, like a flower tilting towards the sun. We ride this train, but we never look out the window anymore because we think we have everything we need in the cabin. But the air is recycled and stale, the food is reheated, the alcohol will only last so long. But out there, out there we will have fresh food, air and water. We will have space to unfold the tents of our minds. We will have freedom to choose. We will have freedom to speak. We will have freedom to move about. We will be masters and mistresses of our domains. We will take charge.

We can make this happen. And if we fail, at least we can leave, our hearts heavy, but our minds at ease.

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7 Comments »

  1. this is good.
    your vision is romantic.
    i like the part about the good food.
    your point of view is poetic.
    it is deep at the same time light-hearted and funny.
    i like the notion that freedom doesn’t come with money.

    Comment by anonymous — April 16, 2010 @ 2:42 am

  2. with all due respect, i feel the arguments for not voting for the PAP are always rhetorics and not substantial points on how our lived could improve. I admire your passion for your beliefs, but just a niggling thought that i always have.

    Comment by Jules — April 16, 2010 @ 2:45 am

  3. talented u r

    Comment by fievel — April 16, 2010 @ 3:37 am

  4. My humblest gratitude.

    Jules: Substantial arguments are all over the internet. My purpose is not merely to inform or report, it is to encourage. Thinking, that’s how we improve our lives. Besides, if I really did sit down and write such a piece, how interesting would it be, really.

    Comment by theinkhorn — April 16, 2010 @ 8:40 am

  5. “Cogito ergo sum” of course.

    Indeed, hearts are heavy. Minds are not at ease. But try we must, eh?

    Then even if we were to fail (which we may not), it won’t be for lack of trying. And even if we do fail, we would have failed on our own terms, not theirs.

    The straw may well have broken the mutant 3.5-hump camel’s back!
    http://singaporeenbloc.blogspot.com/2010/03/trilogy-part-c-pm-said-i-am-saying.html

    Especially amidst unjust laws passed by a rubber-stamping House:
    http://singaporeenbloc.blogspot.com/2008/08/greek-mythology-themis-and-source.html

    The Pariah, http://www.singaporeenbloc.blogspot.com

    Comment by The Pariah — April 21, 2010 @ 10:33 am

  6. I was home, but not really. How could I be home? How could I bear, how could I live with myself, how could I have the nerve to call this place home? How could I watch as those around me continue to applaud the evident insanity?

    you’ve echoed all my sentiments.

    thank you for putting up this blog.

    Comment by will this be home — May 8, 2010 @ 12:58 pm

  7. thank you for finding it.

    Comment by theinkhorn — May 8, 2010 @ 3:07 pm


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