June 24, 2010

New Rules SG #1

Filed under: New Rules — theinkhorn @ 2:49 pm

I hate to rip-off Bill Maher, but I think he is the top socio-political commentator today, and I think his methods, however crude, are effective in getting his message across. Which is why I will be mirroring one of his segments, starting today.

New Rule: The YOG theme song and video must be scrapped and buried, and never spoken about again. The songwriting masterclass that is “oh yeah” repeated over and over again, accompanied by cheesy hand gestures and ridiculously fake smiles is possibly the most annoying thing on the air, following “90210” and “Accidently On Purpose”.

New Rule: Aussie guys, who so often boast subtly about how macho they are, must now beat up Kevin Rudd to restore their dignity. Rudd gave an emotional farewell speech where he choked up at several points, undermining the Aussie manhood. And here’s the cracker: He’s being replaced by a chick!

New Rule: Portugal must offer the North Korean football squad refuge after potentially triggering a death sentence clause in their contract. You know what, additional New Rule: Portugal must cater to the North Korean’s living and eating habits, even if it means serving up grilled Pomeranian, Portugese style.

New Rule: If we’re going to experience political change, if we’re going to finally have a new government after 50 years, if we’re determined to make all that happen, politicians have to stop their bullshit and focus on the task at hand.

The Online Citizen reported today that former RP Chairman Ng Teck Siong has confirmed his registration of a new political party. Chia Ti Lik is reported to be co-founding the new party, which will be named the Socialist Front. Which, surprise surprise, translates into Barisan Sosialis.

Great, just what we need. Another party. The problem with our politicians is they don’t seem to understand the order of things. First you bake the cake, then you decide what colour icing you want on it. What we need now isn’t diversity. It isn’t options. It is unity.

Don’t get me wrong. I like plurality as much as the next guy. Let’s see. We have the SDA, SDP, NSP, WP, RP, USD… and those are just the active ones. And then of course, there’s Big Brother. Really, what are we trying to accomplish here? Our politicians need to get their head out of their asses and see that there is no way, absolutely no way, any of them will win an election on their own. Plant the seed, water it, let it grow, then decide how you want to kill each other over the fucking fruit will you?


1 Comment »

  1. Good article.
    For the greater good, unity is key.
    Opposition is behaving very much like political terrorists, running many independent cells, not co-ordinating their efforts.
    No doubt, there will be disagreements, all these become irrelevant if you do not even get elected to disagree!

    Comment by hahaha — June 25, 2010 @ 3:23 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: