ambiguity

June 28, 2010

New Rules SG #2

Filed under: New Rules — theinkhorn @ 12:16 pm

New Rule: If we are going to spend $126 million on 1.5m  high MRT screen doors, SMRT needs to teach their drivers how to park. There’s a rule of thumb I think you should follow. It’s called “look out the door”.

New Rule: Kasandra Kong, published author of the book “This Is My Story”, must stop assuming that all women are as stupid as she is. Hey Marilyn vos Savant, if I want to read a poorly written book about the exploits of an egotistical, arrogant moron, I’d buy “A Charge To Keep”. Just because you didn’t have the good sense to guard yourself doesn’t give you the right to assume the same of everyone else. Remember, you’re Kasandra with a K. Your parents never gave you a chance.

New Rule: Muslims have to stop pretending that Sharia law is actual law. There’s a reason Sharia courts don’t employ lawyers; lawyers only practise REAL law. Jarkarta based hard-line muslim groups don’t seem to understand that their faux legislations don’t apply to everyone else. Abdul Rouf, head of the Bekasi branch of Muhammadiyah, has gone as far as to accuse the christians of going too far. Yeah, and the pot said to the kettle “hey homie, kool-aid?”

New Rule: England must change its national anthem to “God Save the Team”.

And finally… New Rule: The Belgium police must give lessons on enhancing testicular fortitude to their global counterparts, especially the US. Raids were conducted on a building where Catholic bishops were discussing key issues, including the child sex abuse scandals. Important documents were also seized as the bishops were kept incommunicado for nine hours. The Pope, along with lackey Cardinal Bertone, criticised the entire episode, with Bertone describing it as worse than the old communist regimes. Yeah, but it better be. There’s no way around it; catholic priests have been getting away with sexual abuse for too long. But you know what this tells me. This says that Bertone doesn’t take this seriously. This says that any catholic figure of authority who criticises any sort of investigation on them doesn’t take the crime of sexually abusing a young child seriously. This tells me, that the Pope himself doesn’t think it’s that big a deal.

If there is any chance at all, and there is a huge pile-up by now, that more children were sexually abused in the hands of the Catholic church, then stricter investigations must be conducted. Raids must be conducted. Interrogations, detentions, the works. The Catholic church lost its right to complain about unfair treatment the minute the Lawrence Murphy cover-up made the news. Police departments around the world must take a page out of the Belgians’ book. Even if it means substituting waffles for donuts.

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