ambiguity

May 5, 2010

Filed under: Miscellanous — theinkhorn @ 8:48 pm

They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice… That suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.     – Arthur Schopenhauer

There are few things more heart wrenching than the demise of a young, talented individual. A year or two ago, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. I probably would’ve shrugged it off, went home, had a fag and a beer, went to sleep and did it all over again the next day, without even the slightest consideration that the possibility of tomorrow never arriving stood real and tall. Today, I find myself riddled with sympathy, shame, and most surprising of all, sorrow.

I did not know this young lady, and perhaps I never would have. I did not share any memories with her, I certainly did not hit on her (I’m pretty sure), I was not aware of her existence. I did not change her diapers, I did not make her meals, I did not send her to school, I did not have any conversations with her, I did not think about her… None of that. But I don’t need any of it. No biological bond, no relationship, indeed, no logical reason to feel anything. But this, and this will probably be the only time you’ll ever hear me say this, this is the one occasion where logic is redundant.

We grow up believing ourselves to be invincible. We hurl our inhibitions out the window with a simple “meh” and tell ourselves that we’re living, that we’re learning to live. All that matters to us in the present, is that we don’t regret in the future. All we think about when we close our eyes and prepare for R.E.M is what to do tomorrow. But what if tomorrow never arrives? Would you still dream? Say we wake up the next morning then. It doesn’t quite matter does it? That possibility of not opening our eyes never materializes, and we live to fight another day. We live another day.

If we are to the universe the equivalent of an electron to a blue whale, why then do we feel that sort of invincibility? Why then do we experience delusions of immortality? Why then do we always convince ourselves that it is not right for a beautiful young individual with all the potential and all the opportunity in the world to lose the fight? The unfortunate truth is that it isn’t right, but the universe knows no right or wrong. No correct or incorrect. No benevolence or malevolence. When it comes down to us against the world, against time and the tides, against the monstrosity we call life, we submit, because we know, or we believe, that our control over life only extends so far.

Well what if you’re wrong? What if the extent of your power has been severely underestimated, incredibly miscalculated? What if you realise, one day, that every weed you trample on, every switch you flick, every cab you flag down, every coin you toss into a busker’s hat, every step you ever take, what if all of them count. What if all of them ultimately decide where you end up? What if something as simple and trivial as a butterfly flapping its wings could cause a tornado?

If there is anything you should take from this, it is not that Melissa is frolicking about somewhere in a spiritual plain, smiling down at you from above. It is not that she made a mistake exercising her control over life, her life. It is not that she would want you to be happy. No. If there is anything you should learn from this, if there is anything you should take from this, it should be the realization, the cognition, and ultimately, the acceptance of the power you possess. It should be the willingness to accept your own mortality, your own vulnerability, and take control. If even one of you summons up the courage, Melissa’s passing would not have been in vain. If your intentions are to honour her memory, and if those intentions are fueled with nothing but love and adoration, then start exercising that control.

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.     – Leonardo Da Vinci


For her friends, family, acquaintances and indeed Melissa herself. To you finding in each other the greatest comfort. Readers may offer their condolences here.

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June 15, 2009

Hold on.

Filed under: Miscellanous — theinkhorn @ 2:46 pm

I have just received some rather disturbing news. Mr Anthony Yeo, a man strongly involved with the Singapore Democrats and Friends, has been admitted into Intensive Care. A few weeks ago, he was diagnosed with Burkitt’s Lymphoma, a disease our current prime minister had previously been treated for in 1992.

If you are reading this, please join me and the other members of FS in supporting him and his family through this trying period.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=92452554010

Of all cancers involving the same class of blood cell, 2% of cases are Burkitt’s lymphoma. It seems that special men deserve special illnesses.

June 10, 2009

its….

Filed under: Miscellanous — theinkhorn @ 11:12 pm

Its like being trapped on the Bahamas. Its like a nice cold Stella in the Saharas. Its like a coat in the middle of winter. That exhilaration, its unlike any other. Its the most incredible burst of adrenaline you will ever receive. People who haven’t had it say its overrated. People who have had it say those other people are crazy.

Oh well, i guess i am an addict.

February 8, 2009

HUH?

Filed under: Miscellanous — theinkhorn @ 7:43 pm

I was on my way to the bathroom for a shower when i caught a glimpse of the newspaper titled “Urban”. On the cover was local singer Stephanie Sun. Pretty ordinary looking, until my eyes met the headlines.

“Stephanie Sun, dubbed the “Kate Moss of Singapore”……”

That was as far as i got because my stomach began to hurt from laughing so much and i had to sit down.

So, i had time to come up with possible explanations for Urban’s… indiscretion.
1. They really really need some readers.
2. They have a problem with Kate.
3. They really really like Stephanie Sun
4. They don’t really know who Kate Moss is.
5. Stephanie Sun paid them to do it.
6. They are compulsive liars.

Really. Urban needs new writers. People who know what they’re saying. Its like comparing the Premier League with the national secondary school soccer tournament. Well, made me laugh. Good one Urban.

December 11, 2008

extraORDinary

Filed under: Miscellanous — theinkhorn @ 6:44 pm

Its over.

November 26, 2008

Salt off your lost faded lips.

Filed under: Miscellanous — theinkhorn @ 9:14 pm

She can read, she can read she’s bad.

Oh she’s bad.

October 5, 2008

Plastic Surgery Hoedown.

Filed under: Miscellanous — theinkhorn @ 10:50 pm

(Ryan Stiles)

“I went to the doctor, i thought it was funny.

What i wanted to do, cost alot of money.

He did it right away and never made a fuss.

I took some of the inches from my feet and put em on my penus(penis)”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4BhC3IFrLk&feature=related

I swear to god, i laughed so hard.

August 7, 2008

burning trousers

Filed under: Miscellanous — theinkhorn @ 10:09 pm

I’m such a good liar i scare myself sometimes.

July 27, 2008

It’s times like these..

Filed under: Miscellanous — theinkhorn @ 1:09 am

Some people wish they were dead. I wish i were never born.

There is a difference.

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